Welcome (Willkommen)

Matthew, and welcome to this here blog. Very sweet of you to join-- especially all my German followers. It's good to have you.

Here's just a little bit about what to expect from the blog's existence, and what inspired its creation.

Most of what appears on this site will be a healthy degree of nonsensical. This is a result of my attempt to accurately reflect patterns of life, which in nature are a healthy degree of nonsensical. If there is one thing I took away from years of science education, it's this principle of entropy, and how it does not seem to be limited to chemical systems. Life is working towards greater disorder. I always try so hard to resist this. That is why when I took a leave of absence from medical school after a couple short months, it rocked me.

I had subscribed to a reliable linearity for my life: school, service, med school, doctor, family, kids, grandkids, zombies, death-- was the general sequence. As I began to prepare for my medical career just a few months ago, I sensed something pulling me away. I pulled back. I got to school, and the pull was stronger, so mine had to be as well. There are limits to elasticity. The whole thing eventually snapped, leaving me spinning with revolutionary, oscillatory, and tangential motion towards some scary unknown.

It is taking a while to find footing in a place that is off the only line I ever knew to stand on. I am starting to trust that there is a new line out there, and that it smells like peanut butter. My hope is that this blog can be used as a compass to help me find it. This time, I know the line will not be straight. This time, I will walk, and do my best not to fight the forces I feel as I do. I am a long way off from having mastered this practice, but I have realized it would require far less energy if I could find a way to become harmonious with the disorder-- just join team entropy.

With all of this being said, if some things on this site seem exceptionally out of place, it's because I used a beauty blog as a template to create my personal blog, and then apathy proceeded to consume me. I grant you permission and ask your cooperation in disregarding such things.

Posts will be from things I have written in the past, things I am writing now (like this!), and things that I will write in the future (woah, time travel). They will be about experiences, about myself, about others, about things I notice, things I am confused by, things I fear, and things that make me happy, among other things. Some things will be heavy, some things will be light, and some things will be just right. The takeaway is that there will be a lot of things.

There will be no prescribed order to the postings, and no consistent theme to the posts themselves. Life is not orderly, so my thinking is that we only create conflict within ourselves when we read things that are. I guess that could be the theme, if you are desperate for one. Plus, by prefacing that posts will be random, I don't have to plan as much. This is a good thing for a lazy man.

This being said, many of the posts will be 'tagged', which can be used as a tool to organize the posts by category, if you are craving order.

Oh, and in regard to the name of the blog, Dylar... It is a fictional drug from the novel White Noise, a Don DeLillo special. Dylar is a drug that will eliminate the fear of death. If I happen to do that with this blog, it would be great, but I really just thought Dylar sounded sweet. I thought it might make me sound complex and interesting. More so than I actually am.

Peace, amor, and all that good good stuff.