Back of My Mind

Last night when I slept,

In my dreams I wept,

I was lying on the floor in the back of a room.

If mindful would have felt it,

The carpet on my flesh.

As I was laying still and quiet on my back in the room.

See I’ve been meditating,

And I’ve been feeling good,

But dreams put the fear right back in my mind.

This time for being present

With focus on my breath,

Can’t accept the thoughts in the back of my mind.

What my body remembers,

Is that I couldn’t stand,

Silence from the muscles in the back of my leg.

The breathing gets easy

When the shakes leave my hand.

And sweat hits my neck from the back of my head.

The weight of the sunshine

Slowing me down.

Like running through the mud in the back of the yard.

I’ll move when the grass does,

Still in the dark,

I’m all done chasing here and back like a dog.

Last night as I slept

I dreamt of my death,

Waiting for the rest in the back of the room.

I’ll dream until the peace comes,

Shook awake by God,

Staring at the gates with my back in the tomb.

See I’ve been eating healthy.

I’m treating people right.

But nothing rids despair from the back of my mind.

All the world I learned from,

All the world I got,

Can’t reckon with the world in the back of my mind.

In the back of my mind.

Is a light I can’t find.

Running day and night from the back of my mind.

In the back of my mind.

The darkness can’t hide.

Running day and night from the back of my mind.